Ice Cream Man (2026) – Review

Eli Roth is back, and better than ever with his ambitious and boundary breaking Ice Cream Man. A cautionary tale that is so technically brilliant, and well written you almost forget its not real life. Watch out Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma (2026) August's crown has already been taken…

Is what I would say if I was blind or paid off, or even worse had zero taste in movies…which here at Dead Northern is the biggest sin of them all. This film isn't good in any capacity, matter of fact I would argue it's a crime against cinema. Curse you Odeon for making this your scream unseen, then again I can't blame them because there is no conceivable way anyone would spend money watching this.

Eli Roth gets credit where credit is due for Hostel (2005) and his role as "The Bear Jew" in Inglorious Basterds (2009), one of my favourite movies and favourite characters which makes it even more confusing as to why this movie even happened…seriously who signed off on this?

The performances from the entire main cast, though they are children, so some slack is due, were horrendous. No one looked like they wanted to be there and not a single performance could save this absolute trainwreck of a movie from offending my eyes and hurting my brain. Ironically the only character that was kind of likable was Eli Roth in his role as the dad, he was charismatic and genuinely likable…until he made a weird joke, about children going to the water park.

The gore was good in some places and terrible in others, some of the practical effects were okay, with one scene involving a brain being the best as it was genuinely gross and worked well. The CGI was not great at times, looking more unpolished as the movie progressed.

Though all of the effects work is overshadowed and ruined by this films atrocious use of generative AI for some sequences, it takes you right out of the movie, its sloppy and quite frankly should never have been approved. What happened to the good ol' days of working hard to achieve your vision? With movies such as the aforementioned Camp Miasma releasing in the same few weeks, you'd think they'd try to deliver a good effort.

The story is non-existent and they try to add a few twists, to keep you entertained but it makes this relatively short movie feel like a 9-5 and a complete chore to sit through. The whole town of children are possessed by an Ice Cream Man through eating his ice-cream, then become murderous little psychopaths and kill all adults. Watch Weapons (2025) if you want creepy kids, or watch Evil Dead Burn (2026) if you want a gore fest, both movies are much better use of time. In some ways Ice Cream Man reminds me of The Sadness (2021) with its grotesque over the top gore and its lack of a story, trying to be disturbing just for the sake of being disturbing; all the while delivering the most tragic car crash of a movie possible.

Ice Cream Man makes a splash for all the wrong reasons, causing buzz because it's so bad it's almost a must see…but even then it's not a so bad its good, it's just bad. A weak attempt to stand against some of the giants in one of the best years for horror in a long time. No style, No substance and no reason to watch it, just a massive skip. Theres hope for the second part of the year for horror fans, Cregger and Schoenbrun will get us back on track.

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Blake Reilly